


Chasing the Years of My Life

by westflash



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Elderly Iris, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fluff, Inspired by Music, Marriage Proposal, Portals, Pregnancy, Reunions, Separations, married westallen, teenage westallen, the flash fluff, westallen fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-02 01:50:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5229305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westflash/pseuds/westflash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A WA fic that parallels and is inspired by the song "100 Years" by Five For Fighting.  Starts off with teenage WA, then some angst, pining, more fluff, emotional pain, and more fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm 15 for a moment...

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to this song and I thought it would make a wonderful WA fic so here you go. If you want to listen to the song as you read - here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR-qQcNT_fY
> 
> It may not be the most original concept, but after listening to this song for the billionth time I had to do something with it. Enjoy ^_^

The Saturday night after their sophomore year ended, Barry and Iris were playing Truth or Dare, for lack of better things to do. It was around 3 a.m. so they knew they had to be quiet, as to not disturb Joe. They sat cross-legged under the dining room table, whispering. 

“Um…truth.” Iris said, fairly confidently. 

Barry closed his eyes, deep in thought. “Okay. In elementary school, when we brought packed lunches, I noticed that Joe never packed me any sweets, but he packed you at least one every day. Did he purposely never pack me anything, do you know?” 

Iris shrieked and covered her mouth. In surprise she said, “I thought you never noticed!”

“Of course I noticed. I just never said anything because I figured Joe was so nice to me, bringing me in and everything. But you never answered my question…was it you all along?” 

She winced. “Every day between science and lunch, when you would stay after class to talk to the teacher, I got into your locker and took the sweet to save for English.” Barry groaned and ducked his head back, accidently hitting it on a chair. As he rubbed his head, Iris remarked, “Oh come on, you know how boring that class was, I complained to you about it like every day. I just needed something to do besides listen to Ms. Fein drone on and on about the importance of punctuation. Are you okay?” 

At this point in the conversation, Barry was holding onto his head, his eyes closed. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Your turn to ask me.” 

“Oooookay. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

Iris knew he’d pick dare, just as he’d done the entire night thus far. She wasn’t sure what he was trying to hide, but she had a way to find out. “Okay, I’m going to dare you to do something, and as you think about it I’m going to get you some ice. Deal?” Barry barely opened his mouth to answer before she continued. “Ok, great. I dare you to tell me all about your crush. You don’t have to tell me who it is, just describe her. Or him, I’m not judging. Oh, don’t give me that look. I know you’re always thinking about someone, the way you stare off into space during history. I’ll be right back.” 

Iris carefully got out from under the table and shuffled off to the kitchen. Barry’s mind was reeling. There was no way out of this one, Iris would make sure of it. She came back a few moments later with a cold compress and handed it to him before sliding back into her place under the table. She crossed her legs, kneaded her fingers together, and uttered a single word. “Spill.” 

He pressed the cold compress to his head and exhaled. It felt colder than he’d expected, or maybe it was because his head was feeling hotter than normal because of this question she asked him. God, of all dares, why was it this one she asked him? “Um…she…yes Iris, it’s a she…she’s brilliant. And captivating. She goes to our school, and I’ve known her for a really a long time. She’s…I don’t know. She probably deserves a lot better than me, but…I don’t know.” Iris was staring at him hard; Barry was staring at the floor. He was thankful for the dark setting of their hiding spot, where she couldn’t see him blushing. “She’s just really wonderful, and when we’re together, there’s no one I’d rather be around. She understands me in ways no one else really does.” 

“Not even me?” 

Barry peeked up from the floor, and gave a half smile, shaking his head as he did so. “Anything else you want to know?” 

Iris rocked back and forth. “Well, I want to know her name, but I know you’d never tell me, so I’m not even gonna bother. I guess that’s it…” 

Barry sighed. He was the first one to speak after a brief moment of silence. “I think I’m going to go upstairs. My head’s throbbing a bit.” 

Iris yawned, nodding. Barry started to leave, but Iris was able to crawl out first, underneath his lanky frame. Coming out from under the table, Barry wasn’t being nearly as attentive as Iris, and hit the other side of his head on the edge of the table. “Motherfu – ”

She interrupted his scream with a hand over his mouth. With the other hand she pointed upstairs and mouthed, “Quiet.” 

Tears were forming in Barry’s eyes. He silently nodded, and then realized too late that it irritated his injury. He moved the compress to the fresh site of pain and slowly made his way upstairs. Iris trailed behind him the whole way, trying to hide her giggles as he swore under his breath.


	2. I'm 22 for a moment...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Iris go out for a night while he's visiting home from college. This chapter takes place a few years before s1.

“Coming, Bear?” Iris called from the porch. 

Barry was frantically rushing around his room, trying to find a shirt and tie combination that actually made him look good. They weren’t going anywhere particularly special, but he still wanted to impress Iris regardless. Maybe tonight would finally be the night where he gathered up enough courage to tell her. Maybe.

“Barry?”

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a sec”, he said. After saying it, he noticed he probably didn’t say it loud enough for her to hear, but he was about to go downstairs in a second anyways.   
He looked one last time in the mirror and forced himself to go downstairs before he changed again. 

Iris was standing in the doorway, looking amazing as always. “You look great, Barry. You should dress like this all the time.” 

Barry huffed. “Do you want to be the one to take my clothes to the dry-cleaners five days a week?”

She punched him playfully on the arm. “Did you pick the movie?” 

He shook his head. “No, I figured we’d just go for a walk downtown, it’ll give us more time to talk while I’m home for the weekend.” 

“Then let’s go already! I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes,” Iris giggled, pulling Barry through the open door by his forearm. Barry never knew how truly weak his muscles were until he was around Iris. 

Barry started to shout a goodbye to Joe but Iris slammed the door before he could get anything past “good” out of his mouth.   
_______________________________  
They took Iris’s car downtown and parked it in the Jitters parking lot, a fairly central location, and easy to get to late at night. 

“Where to first?” Barry asked. 

“No, you pick this time. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, and I know how stressed you are with finals coming up…so you can pick.” Iris linked her arm in Barry’s and they started walking towards the street with all of the nightlife. 

“How about we just walk around and see where it takes us?” He recommended. 

“Sounds like a plan.”   
_______________________________  
“So which one are you gonna get?” Iris asked Barry, her eyes lighting up at the large variety of ice cream selections. 

“I think I have to go with soft serve this time around”, he replied. “I’m just in that kinda mood. You?” 

In her usual way, Iris stared hard at the freezer, concentrating. This was a very important decision. “Well you know what my favorite is, but I’m feeling a bit risky tonight. I think I’ll try something new.” 

She got the attention of the person behind the counter and requested a sample of cookies and cream. Iris licked the spoon clean and closed her eyes, savoring the flavor. 

“Can I just get a small twist in a cup with cookie dough on top?” Barry asked the server. He looked questioningly at Iris, who was still contemplating flavors. “Just pick mint-chocolate chip already, we both know that’s what you really want right now.” 

Iris giggled and smiled at him in agreement. After the server gave Barry his order, he thanked her and Iris said, “Can I please get a scoop of mint-chocolate chip in a waffle cone?” 

The server nodded and went to get her order. Barry made his way over to the cashier but Iris stopped him. “No, this is your night. Plus Jitters gave me a fifty-cent raise, so I’m basically a billionaire now. Allow me.” She smiled and paid, clearly satisfied. 

While she was waiting for her cone, Barry sat down at a table in the corner. The tables and chairs were unnaturally small, so Barry had to cross his legs sideways in order for his knees to avoid hitting the table. 

Iris got her order and turned around, trying to locate him. He waved and she walked towards him, already digging into her treat on the way. Barry couldn’t get over how happy he was, particularly in this moment, to be friends with someone so incredibly amazing in so many ways he could barely even begin to describe. 

“You okay? You zoned out for a sec”, Iris said as she sat down across from him. 

“Yeah, I’m great. Just thinking about how happy I am right now. Happier than I’ve felt in awhile.” 

Iris reached across the table and put her hand on top of his. “I feel the same way, Bear.” 

Barry was about to take a spoonful into his mouth when a thought came across his mind. It’s now or never, Barry. You can do this. Just…tell her. The worst she can say is no, then you’ll go back to the way things were. You’ll never know if you don’t try. “Just do it”, he whispered to himself, not realizing that he actually said that part out loud. 

“Just do what?” Iris commented, in between ice cream licks. 

He exhaled, and realized it wouldn’t hurt to at least try. “Remember that night, after sophomore year ended, and we were hiding out under the table at three in the morning playing truth or dare?” 

Iris gasped. “Oh my god, I totally remember. You whacked your head twice and had to put a cold compress on your head for the next two days. Then when Dad asked what happened to you, you said you tripped running down the sidewalk to make it to the bus on time. I’m still not sure why you didn’t just tell him the truth.”

He laughed nervously. “I wanted that moment underneath the couch to stay between us. I’m not sure why…just letting other people know about it somehow…I don’t know.” He took another deep breath and a spoon of soft serve before continuing. “But remember when you asked me who my crush was? And I never actually told you who it was?” 

Iris leaned across the table, expectantly. “Barry, are you finally going to tell me the name of this mystery girl who stole your little fifteen-year old, puppy heart? ” 

“Uh…” Barry started, and it was at this point where he lost all confidence in himself. “No, no I wasn’t.” He gulped, cursing himself silently. Iris looked up at him from her half-finished cone. “I just, really opened myself up that night to you, because I believe in you. I trust you. So I guess I just want to say, thank you for sticking by me, and being my friend for all these years when no one else really was.” 

Tears started to form in Iris’s eyes. She laid the cone down on a napkin and stood up to hug her friend. Even sitting down, Barry was still only a few inches shorter than her. “Oh, Barry!” Iris cried, giving him the tightest bear hug he’d ever received. 

Looking up at the celling, he thought to himself. One day, Barry. You’ll be able to say it one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for WA angst.


	3. I'm 33 for a moment...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Expecting their children, Barry and Iris reflect on their marriage proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take note of the date of the proposal (look what episode aired on that day). Also - in the song at 33 they're expecting a child, so I wanted to include that in the chapter as well as their proposal (I couldn't stop thinking about the latter, it had to be included in this fic). Enjoy ^_^

“Mint-chocolate chip please.” 

“Got it. I’ll be righ – ”

“Wait! Also a bag or three of barbeque chips. Mesquite. And a can of whipped cream. Some mangoes too…”

Barry took his hands off the front door and folded them across his chest. “Anything else?” 

Iris leaned slightly on over the spine of the couch. She folded her hands under her chin and in her most polite voice, she requested, “Pad Thai from the place downtown, pretty please. Chicken, with - ” 

He sped over and kissed her on the top of her head. “Medium spice. Anything for you.” He zipped out of the house and the door slammed shut before Iris could properly thank him. She smiled to herself and lay across the couch, her legs slightly dangling in the air. Not that she could see them, in any case. She was seven months pregnant and it seemed like every single second, the twins grew bigger and she grew hungrier. Iris propped her phone up against her belly and mindlessly scrolled it whilst waiting for her husband to get back with the food. 

He was back about ten minutes later, but before sitting down with the food he rushed plates and silverware to the coffee table, setting out everything within the manner of just a few seconds. Lounging in the armchair across from the couch, he popped barbeque chips in his mouth. “Sorry I took so long, Thai place was packed. Also, I wasn’t sure what brand of chips you wanted, so I got a few of each of the main ones.” 

Iris sat up and looked at her feast. He got more than she initially wanted, but it all just looked so appealing. “Damn, I love you so much.”

She grabbed the pad Thai, spooned it onto a plate, and then proceeded to scarf it down with chopsticks. It was halfway gone before she knew what she was doing. Barry raised and eyebrow at her, and Iris grinned apologetically with her mouth closed. 

“I swear these kids are doing all my thinking for me. I can’t wait to have my body back to myself.”

At this point in the pregnancy, Barry learned that it was better not to respond or attempt to sympathize to comments like these but rather nod with compassion. He nodded with tight lips and ate some more chips. 

“Well, you’ve heard enough complaining to last you a lifetime. I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you how things are going, at work and whatnot.” Iris put the Thai food down and cracked open the ice cream. 

Barry shrugged. “Well most of my life right now is taking care of you, so otherwise…it’s fine, I guess. I’m up for that promotion at the station and I think I may have a decent chance at getting it.” 

Iris scoffed. “Decent chance? You’ve told me all about the other candidates and they sound like their combined IQ would be smaller than a squirrel’s. These kids…” she pointed to her belly, “…would have a better chance at getting it than either of those morons.” 

He shrugged again, and then realized it was the second time he did it within twenty seconds. There were some habits he would probably never shake off. “Well, you know.” 

“Mhmm?” 

“I don’t really know what to say. It just feels really nice to be optimistic about life again.”

“Wish I could feel the same. These kids are just sucking out all my energy.” Iris proceeded to reach for the whipped cream and squirt some on top of the ice cream in the carton, and then some directly into her mouth. 

Barry nodded again like he was obligated to. “The anniversary’s coming up.”

Iris thought to herself for a moment. “The wedding anniversary? It’s only March.” 

“No, the proposal’s.” Barry leaned his head back, thinking of the day. 

Iris smacked herself on her forehead. “Obviously! How could I forget? I told you, I’m exhausted all the time. That day was definitely one of the best days of my life, hands down. I’d never forget it.”  
_______________________________  
\- - - - - - - - - - - -  
Four Years Ago  
\- - - - - - - - - - - -  
Iris reread the note for the eightieth time. “Our place, 12:30 a.m.” She sighed and folded it back up, tucking it into her pocket. It was March 17th at 12:36 a.m., and Iris had been waiting on top of the Jitters roof for the past fifteen minutes, shivering. She underestimated how chilly this March night would be, and certainly did not dress for standing outside in the freezing wind. She leaned up against the edge of the rooftop and looked out at her city. Suddenly, Iris noticed a familiar red streak zipping up in her direction. She smiled and turned around in time to see Barry walking towards her wearing his typical grandpa sweater underneath a winter jacket. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Fire on Charles Street.” 

Iris leaned up against him for warmth. “It’s fine. Any particular reason why I was supposed to meet you here? I figured I’d just see you at home later.” 

“I wanted to show you something. Something I’ve wanted to tell you about for a few years now, but I never had the best time to do it…until now.” 

Iris looked at him quizzically. “I’m indeed very curious. What do you want to show me? And does it have to be outside?” 

Barry shook his head to himself, chuckling nervously. He slipped off his jacket and handed it to Iris. She slid her arms through it while Barry said to her, “Hold on.”

He scooped her up and then they were running, past the whole city and towards the bay. Iris couldn’t imagine what he had to show her, especially so far away from everything. He finally stopped at a spot a few hundred feet away from the water. Iris fixed her windswept hair and exhaled. She looked around and asked, “Why are we here? What are you showing me?” 

He looked out at the water for a moment, and then turned around to hold his girlfriend’s hands in his. Even after these three years together, every single day he couldn’t help but wonder in awe of how lucky he was to have someone as special as Iris in his life. “Remember a few years ago, when I time-traveled to the night my mother was murdered?” 

“Of course I do.” 

“And do you also remember the fact that that wasn’t my first time time traveling?” 

“Vaguely.” 

He closed his eyes, trying to formulate his thoughts. “There was something I never told you about that night. Or anyone, for that matter. Except, well – never mind.” 

She looked up at him, wearing the same confused look as before. 

“Right, so – in this alternate timeline, which I reset when I time traveled, Mark Mardon created a tsunami that was going to destroy the city, but before I tried stopping it, something happened here.” 

“What?”

Barry scrunched his face up. His heart was pounding in his chest; his nerves were skyrocketing. “In this exact spot, you confessed your feelings for me. We kissed for the first time ever – in this spot, and I told you, well, showed you that I was the Flash, right over there…” He pointed just a few feet over to his left. Iris was tearing up, and the sight of that caused Barry to start crying too. “That moment – that brief, extraordinary moment – was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I never told you until now, because…I just really didn’t know how. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’re the most important thing that’s ever happened to me and you’re probably the most important person in the multiverse and…I’ve never stopped thinking about you. There has not been one day that’s gone by where I don’t thank the world for creating you and bringing you into my life.” 

Iris peaked up on her toes and kissed him with all the passion she could muster. Embraced within one another she whispered to him, “I have not been able to stop thinking about you, either. Not for a minute.” 

For what seemed like forever, they propped each other up, held the other as they cried. Barry pushed off from her and got down on one knee. He held out a small black, velvet box. “I love you more and more every single day, Iris West. Will you marr – ” 

In this moment Iris’s eyes were tinged red and she was trying to stifle the sounds of sobbing coming from her mouth. She rushed forwards and tackled Barry to the ground. Facing each other on the moist grass, she said, “In any universe, any lifetime, my Barry, my answer is yes.” 

They kissed again and lay there, staring into each other’s eyes until dawn broke.   
_______________________________  
Genuinely happy, and ever grateful, Barry looked at his wife. She was just as beautiful as the day they first got together, despite her current lack of self-esteem. He responded, “for sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how this will be received but I loved the idea of incorporating THAT 1x15 scene into the proposal. ;)


	4. I'm 45 For a Moment...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of WA mid-life fluff before everything goes to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stop reading at the first dash if you can't handle emotional distress. Sorry for taking so long to update this but school has kept me busy. Enjoy ^_^

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” 

Barry sped upstairs from the kitchen, where he had been cleaning the dishes from the kids’ breakfast of eggs and cereal, when he heard his wife scream. She was standing in front of the mirror, analyzing her hair. 

Concerned and only slightly out of breath, Barry asked, “What’s wrong?” 

Iris pulled out a piece of hair and stuck it right in his line of sight. With worried, puppy-dog eyes, she peered into his. 

When he said nothing and looked up at her confused, Iris groaned in exasperation. “Do you not see what I am showing you?” 

“It’s a piece of – ”

“Yes, Barry, it’s a piece of hair. What color is it?” 

He sheepishly answered, “Gray?”

Iris raised her eyebrow. 

Barry leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms, looking at her incredulously. “Is there a problem?”

She looked back at her reflection and continued frantically combing through her hair. “It’s the beginning of the end. I’m getting old, Bear. One day you’ll come home from work and I’ll be a shriveled wreck limping around the house with a cane, reading the previous day’s paper with reading glasses on the tip of my nose.” 

He hopped off the doorframe and hugged his arms around his wife, leaning down so he could tuck his head into the nook between her neck and shoulders. Giving Iris’s reflection eye contact, he told her, “Even if you were a shriveled old wreck I’d still love you just as much as the day we met.” He kissed her cheek and glanced at the clock perched on the counter. “CSI can’t run itself. Love you.” He whooshed out and Iris cradled the spot where he’d had his head moments before. 

Iris was walking from the bathroom to the bedroom to get dressed just thirty seconds later when Barry zipped back into the house with only a gust of wind and a bouquet of purple irises in Iris’s hands to mark that he’d been back. She nearly started crying with overwhelming love when she saw the note tucked in the plastic wrapping. Tucking the flowers under one arm, she opened up the note. 

_To my Iris,_  
You’ll always be beautiful to me, even when we’re both shriveled wrecks. I’ll be home early for the anniversary.  
\- B.A. 

They had traditions for every anniversary, every birthday, something they’d started when the first year they were married. Today’s particular anniversary was the day they’d gotten engaged. Each year on this day, they went out to the bay, laid on the cool grass and watched the sunset fade into stars. 

Iris squeezed the note to her heart and went to hide it in her nightstand. She got dressed and shuffled downstairs to put the flowers in a vase. All of a sudden, an overwhelming feeling of utter fear washed over her. She couldn’t quite explain it, but she had a strong suspicion something horrible was going to happen. Thinking it irrational, Iris shrugged it off and opened up her computer, ready to start a day’s work before the kids came home later.  
_______________________________  
Iris wasn’t sure what time Barry would be home, but he said it would be early. Even his definition of early wasn’t two hours after he usually comes home every day. She sat at the kitchen table, staring at the clock, waiting for the whoosh. Every ten minutes on the dot she tried calling his phone, but it never went through. She reread his note after every failed call, making certain that it said Barry would be home early. She brushed off the kids’ questions of, “when is Daddy coming home?” and “why isn’t he picking up the phone?” by responding that he was working late. 

When the babysitter showed up around 8, Iris quickly explained the situation to her and bolted to her car, barely taking time to buckle her seatbelt before driving off to CCPD. 

Despite being retired, Joe still volunteered at the station a few days a week to aid with filing and completing paperwork. He sat at his desk, in deep concentration. 

Iris ran over to him and on the verge of tears, whimpered, “Hi, Dad.” 

Joe looked at her in surprise. “I wasn’t expecting you here today. Shouldn’t you and Barry –”

“That’s the thing. I haven’t seen or talked to Bear since this morning, and he’s not picking up.” Her words started to blur together as inescapable sobs started to wrack her throat. “Has he been in today?” 

Suddenly concerned, Joe replied, “No, he never clocked in. I figured he was with you all day, celebrating the anniversary.”

Iris started uncontrollably weeping right there, in the middle of the station. Joe got up and cradled his daughter; she was so grownup, but always his little girl. Stroking her hair, he reassured her, “Baby, everything’s gonna be okay. Everything’s gonna be fine. We’ll find him.”  
_______________________________  
Twenty-four hours later, and Barry was still nowhere to be found. Iris was unable to find it in her to tell Don and Dawn that she didn’t know where their father was or when he’d be back, so Joe picked them up the next night to take them out for ice cream before breaking the news to them. When they came home, they snuggled up to their mother in bed, all wearing the same red-stained eyes.  
_______________________________  
A month later, and Iris still hadn’t gotten back to normal life. She found enough courage to get out of bed in the morning and send the kids off to school, but she couldn’t focus on any work. Anytime she tried writing a new piece, she would zone out and stare at the wall, void of any emotions, but so full of them at the same time. 

Wally, Cisco, and Felicity frequently called to comfort her and express their sympathies, but that was only a temporary fix. She would hang up the phone and have another panic attack all over again. 

Some nights, it was as bad as the first one. One particular night, not very long after Barry disappeared, Iris held onto his pillow that still held onto his scent, and cried into it. Don had peeked in the door to check on how his mom was when he overheard her muffled voice, sobbing into the pillow, “Don’t leave me, Barry. Don’t leave, please. Oh God, please don’t leave me.” He started crying too, but retreated back to his room before his mom discovered he’d heard her. 

Other nights were better, but not by much.  
_______________________________  
Three months after that, there was still no sign of The Flash in Central City, which meant more frequent crimes gone un-foiled, and there was a significant increase in casualties resulting from natural disasters, robberies, and whatnot. 

Iris had gone back to work, despite every day still being a struggle. She funneled all her emotion into her work and children, and had even begun drafting her first novel. 

She still hadn’t put Barry’s belongings in the basement, and wasn’t planning on doing it anytime soon, still holding onto the hope that he would whoosh in at any minute. CCPD had left multiple voicemails throughout the months, asking where Barry was, and if he was coming back. None of them were returned. By this point, the voicemails started asking Iris to stop by and clear out Barry’s office if he wasn’t going to be coming to work anymore. Iris deleted the voicemail and passed the message onto Joe, who would hopefully take the task on. 

One July morning, when the kids were away at sleep away camp, the doorbell woke Iris up. She assumed someone else would get the door, but she quickly realized that there was no one else home. She groaned into her pillow and stumbled downstairs in her pajamas. 

She looked in the peephole, but she didn’t know the woman standing on their porch. Iris opened the door just a few inches, peaked her head out and asked, “How can I help you?” 

The lady smiled politely and introduced herself as Madeline Plant. She pulled a small piece of paper out of her pocket and asked, “Are you Iris West-Allen?”

A bit frazzled, Iris nodded. “Is there anything I can do for you?” 

The woman chuckled. “This is going to sound a bit bizarre, but I was walking my dog downtown when I found a business card of CSI Director Barry Allen tangled in the bushes outside CoJitters. There’s a note written on the other side, addressed to Iris West-Allen. I looked you up online and found your address. I didn’t read the note, but – ”

In a burst of adrenaline, Iris opened the door out the rest of the way and snatched the card out of the woman’s grasp. “I can’t thank you enough Ms. Plant. Have a good weekend.” 

Madeline started to say, “its Tuesday” when Iris accidently slammed the door on her. She felt a bit bad about it, considering this card was the only clue she’s had to Barry’s disappearance. She looked out the peephole again to see the woman walking back down their driveway, shaking her head whilst texting. 

Iris turned back around and slid down the door, taking in what may have been Barry’s last message to her, ever. The business card was stained with dirt and was torn in a few places, but Barry’s frantic, desperate handwriting was somehow still readable. 

_TO IRIS WEST ALLEN –  
I don’t have time to give you all the details…was on my way to work…metahumans came through a portal…started chasing me…they’ll find me…if I don’t make it home…I need you and our children to know…I love you all, more than I’ve ever loved anything…I’ll make it home sometime, I will…_

The message ended there. Iris reread it over and over until salty tears blurred her vision. She knew more than she had the last few months but she didn’t feel any more absolved. Barry was gone, she knew why, and as far as she knew, there wasn’t anything she could do to get him back. 

Iris looked down at the card and promised, “You’ll make it home, Bear. I’ll wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I had major deja-vu while writing this chapter, so if I accidentally ripped off your fic (or the comics, even?) I sincerely apologize. 
> 
> There'll be a happy ending, I swear. I did warn of some pain at the beginning of the first chapter though, so ;)
> 
> I'm anxious to get the next chapter out, so you should have it by Saturday the 19th at the latest (probably).


	5. Another blink of an eye...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annual Flash Day, and Iris finally gathers up the courage to speak. Something exciting happens at the end, wait for it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My longest chapter yet, for anything I've ever written, ever. Enjoy ^_^

Every year for the past forty-two years there had been an annual Flash Day, and even after he disappeared, Central City had continued this tradition. Rather than honoring the man in red in person, they instead celebrated his innumerable accomplishments. Each year, they featured select citizens to speak whose lives had been saved by the Flash, and had them recount their stories. 

Nobody knew Iris as the Flash’s wife except her family, of course, but since she was the one who had always written about him online and in the papers, they knew she had been close with him. Thus, year after year the organizers of Flash Day asked her first, before anyone else, if she would speak. Year after year, Iris politely declined. She told herself she would speak when she was ready to. Her sixty-fifth birthday came and went, twenty years since Barry disappeared. Don and Dawn were both married, and Iris’s career was only getting stronger in its older years. Iris started drafting her Flash Day speech, and frequently edited it until it was finally perfect, in time for the forty-second Flash Day. That year, when they called her, she would say yes.  
_______________________________  
The day was here; the day that Iris had been waiting with anticipation for the past twenty-two years. She woke up in her king-sized bed at approximately 8 a.m., still set for two people, even after all this time. 

Yawning, she stretched her arms out overhead, wincing as she heard he elderly bones crack. Growing old certainly wasn’t easy. Iris could only imagine how hard it was for her father, who at this point was nearly one hundred years old and was restricted to a wheelchair. 

She tumbled out of bed and shuffled over to the mirror. In terms of wrinkling, she had been lucky so far, her skin not sagging as much as the other old ladies in her mahjong group. Unfortunately, her hair had not faired as well. It had turned a salt-and-pepper gray, and Iris wasn’t motivated to dye it. She stared at her reflection, picking at her roots and analyzing anything that resembled a wrinkle on her face. 

Iris preceded to complete her daily morning routine, ending it with a layer of anti-wrinkle cream and fresh makeup. Throughout this process, she repeated aloud to herself, “You can do this”, in a successful attempt to dim her anxiety over the day’s main event. 

Two years ago, when she decided to start writing the speech, Iris went out and bought an expensive dress, the type of dress she would have never been able to afford before her book deals and ultimate promotion to Lead Editor at CCPN. When she purchased it, Iris promised herself she wouldn’t be able to wear it until she had built up the courage to speak at Flash Day. She took the dress off the dusty hanger and held it up high, grinning ecstatically.  
_______________________________  
She twirled around in circles in front of her father, who was basking in the glory of her beautiful dress. Iris picked this one out special, for it was a majestic maroon red with zigzags in a brighter, stiffer red fabric that ran down the sides. It would have been a near-perfect match for the iconic Flash suit, now housed at the Flash Museum. 

“You look beautiful, baby,” Joe said, as he applauded from his wheelchair. When Iris had arrived to the nursing home to pick him up, he was already ready to leave. Joe was decked out in a simple outfit of black slacks, a red button-up shirt, and a dark maroon tie. Without meaning to, they had matched outfits. 

Iris leaned down to give him a kiss. “Thanks, Dad. I love you.” Joe returned the kiss and squeezed her hand. 

After confirming he was free to leave the home, Iris wheeled him out and helped him into her car, sticking the wheelchair in the back. 

Iris got into the driver’s seat, looked over at her father, and asked, “Ready to go?” 

Joe rubbed his shriveled hands together enthusiastically, nodding. “You?”

Turning the keys in the ignition, Iris replied, “Yes,” despite not quite believing it herself. Before clicking the gearshift into drive, she started digging through her purse. “I know this is kind of last minute, but could you read through this and tell me your thoughts?” She handed him the paper with her speech on it and looked up at him hopefully. 

He took it gingerly, and said, “Yes, but I’ll need my –”

It was then when Iris gave him his spare reading glasses. He thanked her and began reading.  
_______________________________  
The ride to the event was supposed to only be about a half hour, but was taking longer with traffic. Flash Day often brought thousands of tourists over to Central City. Fortunately for Iris, she and Joe had left about an hour early. 

Whilst waiting in traffic, Joe read and reread the speech for what seemed like the seventh time. Iris couldn’t wait for him to speak anymore. She blurted out, “What do you think?” 

Traffic started moving again. Iris put her eyes back on the road. Joe responded warily, “Do you really want to do this?” 

“I don’t know what I want. What I know is, it’s been twenty-two years, and I’m exhausted. I need to stop hiding from everyone, hiding my secrets, hiding everything.” 

Joe folded the speech back up and placed it in the cup holder. He reached for Iris’s right hand, and cradled it. “I understand.” 

They got fairly close to the venue when they eventually found parking amidst the crowd of people wearing Flash shirts, masks, and even some cosplay. Iris aided her father out of the car and said, “Let’s go.” 

Her nerves were really starting to escalate. She had been anxious for the past few days, but the weight of her anticipation started suffocating her as they made their way through the crowd. Iris practiced inhaling and exhaling slowly, which helped a little. 

Searching for her family in the audience gave her a chance to absorb the celebration happening before her. What seemed like thousands of balloons were suspended from various places on the ground, in different variations of the colors red and yellow. A temporary stage was set up on the field, with a podium in the middle. In equal distances away from the podium were suspended television screens, one reading “42nd Annual Flash Day” in red text, and the other showing the famous first picture of the Flash. Iris was suddenly overwhelmed that still, after twenty-two years, people who never even knew the Flash still cared this much for him to have this extravagant of a celebration. Every Flash day seemed to be just as spectacular as the very first one, which was, “Truly incredible,” Iris remarked to herself. 

Iris finally found Don and Dawn in the front row with their respective spouses. After returning kisses, hugs, and hopes for good luck, she left Joe with them and followed the signs pointing backstage, where the other presenters sat in folding chairs. She had left her purse in the car but remembered the speech, which she now unfolded and reread for probably the billionth time. 

The stage manager called up the first presenter. Iris’s nerves, which had previously been decently high, were now skyrocketing, and she was nearly on the verge of tears. She repeated her mantra, “You can do this.” 

One by one each speaker was called up, until it was time for Iris, the last speaker of the day. Before standing up, she whispered, “I love you, Barry.” In her red two-inch heels, Iris walked with as much confidence as she could muster to the podium. She looked out into the audience, seeing her family cheering her on in the front row. She hadn’t even begun to speak and was already receiving a standing ovation. After all, Iris West was a bit of a celebrity in Central City.

After forty seconds or so, the cheering died down, and Iris exhaled one last time. Once it was absolutely silent, she begun her speech. 

“Citizens of Central City. On this day, we remember the life of the Flash, the man,” she pointed to the screen to her left, “…who saved our city. We may never know what truly happened that fateful day, but we can do all we can to preserve the memory of the person who, with nothing but super-speed and a strong determination to keep this city safe, saved countless of lives throughout his career.” Applause and cheering ensued. “I had a personal connection with the Flash, which, to this day, I still feel, despite his everlasting absence.” She now realized that what she would say next would likely make headlines in blogs and newspapers throughout Central City, possibly America. She looked down at her father, who knew what she was about to say. He was looking down at his lap, his fingers knotted together nervously. Swallowing hard, she found the courage to continue. “As you all know, I was close with the Flash; perhaps even closer than all of you know. My husband, Barry Allen, director of CSI at the CCPD, went missing the same day as the Flash, and hasn’t been seen since. If anybody realized this coincidence, they never said anything. My family told everyone he was dead, gone in a Star City bombing. And nobody denied it. But Barry’s didn’t die twenty-two years ago, and neither did the Flash. Central City, the Flash is – ”

It was at that moment when Iris noticed something no one else did, since she was the only one facing that direction. About twenty feet out into the audience and thirty feet above everyone else’s heads, a blue portal opened up in the middle of the air. Iris held her breath, staring at the hole that had randomly opened up out of nowhere. When people in the audience started noticing the portal, screams of terror sounded. Chaos ensued. Whoever didn’t immediately run away remained transfixed in their spot, and those who ran proceeded to crash into the stagnant few. Iris leaned forward on the podium, blocking everything and everyone else out. 

“Come on, come on…” she encouraged through gritted teeth. Her fists were crushing her speech into a ball. The security tried to usher her away from the stage to seek cover, but she stood her ground. In the middle of the utter blackness, she thought she saw red lightning. “Get the fuck off of me!” Iris yelled at the two buff security guards, who both had their large hands clasped tightly around her arms. They immediately dropped her and sprinted in the other direction, shaking their heads. Iris fell to the ground on her hands and knees, looking desperately at the portal. It slowly started getting smaller and Iris cried, “No, no, no…” 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Don’s wife as well as Dawn and her wife wheeling Joe in the direction of a parking lot. Iris then felt Don’s familiar hands on her shoulders, and she collapsed into his legs, painfully sobbing into them, “Barry…oh Barry…”

Wind was starting to pick up; a storm was brewing all of a sudden. Don got down to his mother’s level, held out his hand and said to her, “We need to leave, Mom.” 

She screamed, “No!” and refused to accept Don’s help. He scooped up her small frame and jogged in the other direction, as Iris clawed hopelessly in the air, crying all the way. She tucked her head into Don’s shoulder but looked up in just enough time to see a tall figure fall out of the portal onto the stage just twenty feet to their left. 

Iris continued shrieking and pointing in the other direction until Don turned around. In shock, he exclaimed, “Oh my God…” and put his mother down. Despite her age and her shoes, Iris outran him. She only had a few more steps to go before she tripped and landed on top of the person. Iris was momentarily stunned but snapped out of it when she heard Don crying, “Dad!” over the deafening roar of the wind. 

Iris looked desperately at Barry’s unconscious face. She cried his name and grabbed onto his shirt, the same one he’d disappeared in all those years ago. 

As if called upon by an angel, Barry inhaled hard and his eyes just about popped out of his head. He looked at Iris, who was now just inches away from his face, half her body still on top of his. He cradled her tear-riddled face, and quietly whispered, “Iris”. She couldn’t hear him over the wind, but she would forever remember the way his lips framed her name when he spoke it. Iris pushed forward and kissed Barry with all the strength she had been saving for this very moment since the day he disappeared. He grabbed onto her hair, and her grip remained tight on his shirt. It truly seemed like there was nothing else in the world besides them, not even their son, who was watching from above with watery eyes.

They pulled apart from each other long enough for Barry to get a good look at Iris. She was older, much older than when Barry had gone through the portal. He looked up. Don was grown up, an adult. Barry saw a wedding ring on Don’s finger. He looked back at Iris and worriedly asked, “How long have I been gone?” 

She looked at him and said, “Twenty-two years.”

Barry looked up at the sky, past Iris’s desperate gaze. He slammed his head against the stage, his mouth open in shock. Remembering this look of Barry’s, Iris was suddenly concerned. “How long were you gone?” 

His eyes turned to meet Iris’s. “About ten seconds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stick with it guys...I promise this story will have a happy ending. This was the hard part. 
> 
> PSA: Chapter 6 coming by January 3rd at the latest.


	6. ...67 is gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A much-anticipated reunion, Barry gets the support he needs when Iris decides what he needs to hear from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoyy

After the initial shock of their realization wore off, Barry and Iris got off the floor and Don embraced his long-gone father, checking him over. 

Barry put his hand on his son’s shoulder, still disoriented by the fact that he was only just taller than Don. “I appreciate your concern but I feel fine.” He looked away to Iris, who was standing behind him, hand resting on her forehead, looking like she may pass out any moment. Barry looked back at Don, who was still eying him with worry. “I’ll meet you back at the house.”

Before Don could ask where he was going, Barry scooped Iris up in arms and ran off. 

Iris couldn’t ask where they were headed, for by the time she found her voice they had already gotten home. Barry stopped on the doorstep. The same rusty, green bench was perched on their front porch; the same welcome mat invited guests into their home; the brick exterior donned the same light fixtures. It was as if no time had passed, which to Barry, none had. Iris watched Barry scrutinize the porch from behind, but she figured there was something else on his mind. 

She took a step towards Barry and wrapped her arms around his waist, her head tilting to the side, pressed into the middle of his back. He caressed her arms, and Iris thought she might burst out into tears again by this simple gesture. 

Quietly, but confidently, Iris asked Barry, “What are you thinking about?” 

Looking down at the welcome mat, Barry hesitated. Iris thought she heard him choke back a sob, as if he were trying to be brave for her sake. “Just…so much has changed and yet nothing has at the same time.” He blinked back the inevitable tears, and let go of Iris’s arm to wipe his eyes. “I really have no words to describe what I’m feeling right now.”

He could feel Iris’s grip loosen and her hand escape to his front right pocket. She fumbled around in there until she found his house key. She twisted him around so they were facing each other and held out the key to him. 

Barry looked at her dubiously. “Wait, so even after…after twenty-two years…you never – ”

As he was speaking, Iris ushered him over to the front door, and guided his hand in unlocking it. The lock clicked, and he looked at her with almost fearful eyes, overcome with emotion. She returned a comforting gaze, and reassured him, “Never.”  
_______________________________  
Before Iris gave anyone permission to visit, Barry made sure she told them it would be a short visit. Barry felt awful about not wanting to see anyone, despite the fact that he knew he had put them through hell for such a long time. In all honesty, all he wanted to do was crawl upstairs and curl up in bed with Iris, but he knew he at least owed his family a few hours of his time. 

Barry and Iris sat next to each other on their family room couch, holding hands while Iris called their children, telling them to bring Joe over for a likely very short visit. At one point, she held the phone to her shoulder and asked Barry if he wanted to meet Don and Dawn’s spouses. 

He wanted to. He really wanted to, but he didn’t think he could handle it so soon after returning. If they visited today, Barry knew he’d probably be too overwhelmed to behave normally. He was already getting a headache thinking about it. Barry simply shook his head and changed positions so that his head was in Iris’s lap and his legs were dangling off the other side of the couch. 

Iris stroked his (not so gray) hair absentmindedly as she finished the conversation. She hung up the phone and reached for his hands once more, which had taken to rubbing his eyes, as if to magically erase reality. She leaned over him and said, “They’ll be over in a bit.” Barry forced himself to smile. She scoffed at him. “Oh, come on now. At least your hair is still its original color.” 

His smile turned genuine, if only for a few moments. Iris rubbed her fingers in circles on the back of his hands, soaking in the feeling of being together again. They stayed there in silence for a few minutes, which was why Iris jumped in shock when Barry finally spoke up.

“I feel awful for what happened. Beyond awful.” Iris really looked at him then, and she could see just how bad he felt. It emanated from him like warmth from a fire. “You were left to raise the kids alone, for more than twenty years, wondering all the while about where I was, and what happened…it was only a few seconds for me, but for you – it was what could have been some of the greatest years of our lives. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to you, to our children, to the city for that matter…and I don’t know how you’d ever be able to forgive me…” He trailed off, staring past Iris and towards the ceiling, looking utterly defeated. 

“Hey…hey!” Iris had dropped his hands and was snapping her fingers, trying to get him to focus. When his eyes turned back on hers, she continued. “I’m not going to lie and say this hasn’t been incredibly difficult on us, on me...it has. But I know this wasn’t your fault, and you should not be blaming yourself for something that _wasn’t your fault._ I have no reason to blame you.” 

Barry jumped up and started pacing the floor, hands raking his hair back in the process. “You should blame me though…I can’t help but think that, had I had been just a bit more cautious, I should have been able to protect myself from the metas.” He looked at Iris desperately, and she made a motion for him to continue speaking. “Um…they came out of the portal, maybe they were from Earth-2, or something, I don’t know…and I was so shocked I froze right there, on the spot. Somehow, I knew they were out for me. They started to run in my direction, and I bolted the other way, just managing to scrawl that note to you before I looked up and was running into a black nothing. You did get the note, right?” Iris nodded, glancing towards her bedroom upstairs, where she kept the note in her nightstand. “After wandering in the darkness for that brief time, I was able to find my way out. Guess that was twenty-two years later.” Iris huffed and looked down at her lap. Barry put his head against the brick fireplace mantle, accidently knocking over some pictures in the process. He didn’t appear to notice. “I should’ve been more careful. I was careless, and stupid, and look what happened.” 

Iris stayed put. She heaved a great sigh, and finally took her shoes off. Rubbing her sore muscles, she responded, “Barry, I had a great life. I got to see my children graduate high school, college, and even marry. I got the opportunity to be promoted at the paper, publish novels, travel the world…” His face red and contorted, Barry looked up from the fireplace. His eyes glinted with indiscernible thoughts, and his mouth trembled. “Your disappearance was the hardest thing I’ve had to conquer, but I made it through, somehow. And I’m okay.” She smiled comfortingly at him, and the room seemed to glow. 

Barry walked back over and collapsed into her. She cradled him in her arms, as he finally let some tears escape. “I just hate that I missed everything. I wanted to watch our children grow up with you, I wanted to grow old with you, I wanted to be by your side every step of the way.” 

“You still can.” 

That had been the last thing Barry had been expecting to hear in response. “Are you implying that I time-travel?”

Not taking her eyes off a fixed point on the wall, Iris shook her head yes. 

Barry looked at her as she looked at the wall, avoiding his eye contact. “But, I’d be leaving you again, this time for good. Do you really think you’d be okay never seeing me again? 

She then looked him in the eyes. Iris could see a glimmer of hope within the anxiety reflected in his eyes. “Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the ones we love. Sometimes, that’s the best option. I don’t necessarily _want_ to lose you again, but if – ” 

The doorbell then rang, interrupting their conversation. The springy ring of the bell sounded duller as the noise ebbed. Iris put a hand on Barry’s chest. “We’ll finish this conversation later.”

Barry gave Iris a grateful peck on the cheek. Iris began to get up to answer the door, but fell back onto the couch when she felt a muscle pain in her back. Barry fluffed a pillow and stuffed it behind Iris, who whispered an appreciative “thank you” in response. He then sped over to the front door to open it, raising his arms wide to embrace his emotional family.  
_______________________________  
Their reunion lasted until sundown, when they had finished four boxes of pizza and Barry finally declared that he needed to rest. Joe noted himself that he was starting to get tired, so after hugs and reassurances of feeling okay he left with Don and Dawn, leaving behind an eerie silence. 

Iris raised her arms out in front of her from her place on the couch. “Help me up.” 

Barry jogged over from the front door, grasped her hands and pulled. Iris stood up tall and stretched. Barry watched her, observing her new physique. She looked and felt frailer than her forty-five year old self, stress having aged her over the years. She wore her hair in the same way; only no it was just a beautiful gray instead of a warm brown. Underneath her physicality, she was still the same resilient, determined, beauteous woman that he had never stopped loving. She opened her eyes and he quickly ran to the other side of the room, at last picking up the frames that fell all those hours ago. 

He mumbled, “So about time traveling?” 

Iris waved her hands back and forth and said, “We’ll talk upstairs.” She then shuffled her way up the stairs, with Barry not far behind. Iris was putting on comfortable clothes when Barry realized his drawers were empty, as was his side of the closet. When he brought this to Iris’s attention, she winced. “I folded everything into boxes, you can find them in the basem –”

Before she could finish the word Barry had gone and come back with all three cardboard boxes of clothing. She giggled to herself before climbing into bed. Barry dug through the boxes until he found a pair of gray sweatpants and a ratted navy blue Star Labs t-shirt, which he then put on before collapsing into bed facedown. 

He turned his head to the left and remarked, “It’s so weird…last night I was kissing my twelve year olds good nights in their bedrooms down the hall, and tonight they’re in beds in their own homes, with other people there to kiss them good night.” Iris acknowledged this with an “mm” sound. She knew this was only the prelude to what would likely be an exhausting conversation she wasn’t in the mood to have. 

Still lying in the same position, Barry gathered up the courage to ask Iris more about her idea. 

She shrugged. “I honestly just think that, if you think you’d be unhappy here, you should chase after what you want out of your life, get back the years you missed.” 

While she talked, he had turned his body around to face her, propping his head up with his fist. “But I can’t only think about myself, and younger-you. I have to think about _this_ you…” He gestured to her with this free hand. 

“This me would have much rather preferred for you to be around for all that time. This me wants you to be happy, and I know that you’d be too consumed by guilt and anxiety to rebuild your life in this timeline.”

Barry knew she was right. Hell, _she_ knew she was right, what with that adorable smirk plastered on her face. He gulped. “You’re sure you’re okay with it?”

Iris yawned. “If I was any more okay with it, I’d be the time traveling one.” 

Barry laughed nervously. “I’m still having trouble with the fact that you’d never see me again, that you’ll be alone again.”

Iris sighed, and turned to face the ceiling. “I was fully expecting never to see you again. Today has been an unexpected treat.” She swallowed. “Sure, it will be hard, impossible, even…but knowing that we’ll be happy somewhere else will be enough for me.” She silently added an _I hope_ to the end of that sentence. “You’ll just need to know that, throughout the rest of your life that you did the right thing, for all of us. And I won’t be alone. I have my family, my friends, my work…I just won’t be alone. You need to understand that.”

Barry couldn’t help but think he was being completely selfish for abandoning Iris for the second time, this time forever. “But what if I – ”

Iris cut him off with a sharp “eh!” “Have faith in yourself. Have faith in me, for what matter. Good night.” Iris switched her lamp off and turned to the other side, the side that didn’t face Barry. Iris knew he’d immediately lose all incentive she just gave him if he saw the fresh tears that stained her cheeks. She had said what she needed to say to get him to pursue his years he’d lost, even if she didn’t necessarily believe it all herself. 

A voice peeped from the other side of the bed. “How do you propose I do it? Time travel?”

Iris thought for a moment and said, “Know that I believe in you, and I want you to.” 

Barry proceeded to think hard in silence. Iris took this as a sign of his acceptance. She wiped her eyes furtively, suddenly filled with the unusual and too short high that came with having someone in bed next to her once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said before, stick with it...I expect there will be 2 more chapters, but we'll see. Next chapter expected to be posted by Monday January 19th at the ultimate latest.


	7. The Sun is Getting High/We're Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The climax we've (especially I) been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking forever to update. Hope you enjoy ^_^

Neither of them slept very much, and around 7 a.m. Iris could feel Barry get out of bed and totter down the stairs. She somehow fell back asleep to the sounds of Barry clattering around downstairs.

Not soon after, around 9 a.m., Iris awoke to the sun, lighting up their room with its rays. She stretched her arms out horizontally and felt a piece of paper resting on Barry’s side of the bed. She whispered it out loud to herself. 

“A special surprise for a special lady. Meet me downstairs when you wake up. B.A.” 

Iris pursed her lips and put the note in her nightstand, along with the other ones from years ago. She went into the bathroom for a few minutes to freshen up, and then proceeded downstairs. Barry was reading the paper on the couch, legs propped up on the ottoman. She tried to capture this image in her mind. 

“Hey.” 

Barry put the paper down on this lap and turned around, sporting the grin of someone who was clearly very pleased with themselves. “Hey.” 

“So what’s this big surprise?” Iris asked as she walked towards the couch. Before allowing Barry a moment to answer, she pulled his head backwards, so that it was resting on the back of the couch, and kissed him, cradling his face as she did so. He rotated himself so that they were face to face, their lips not leaving the others for even a moment. Barry eventually found the ability to pull away, leaving both of them breathing heavy. Barry was still perched on the couch, and Iris was standing right up against it, her hands clasped behind Barry’s neck. They made eye contact a few seconds later and collapsed into anxious laughs. 

“So? The surprise?” Iris questioned again. 

Barry looked shocked, as if he didn’t remember writing the note. Iris let him think it over for a few moments until he seemed to understand. He nodded his head and exclaimed, “Oh, right! Follow me.” 

Iris didn’t even need to follow him, as he grasped her right hand from behind his neck and pulled her along to the kitchen. On the way, Barry spoke in a tone that he typically reserved for stating scientific facts he found particularly fascinating. “I needed to escape, and I wanted to do something for you before, you know…” She gave him an incredulous look, which he didn’t notice in the midst of his excitement. When they got to the kitchen, Iris saw an elaborate breakfast that covered practically the whole table. The table wore a maroon tablecloth, and the various foods sat upon their best serving platters. A pitcher of orange juice rested on the middle of the buffet next to a bouquet of irises in a petite glass vase. He continued talking as she stared at the table in awe. “I felt rotten how we left things last night, so this morning, I ran over to Coast City to your favorite breakfast place and got you all your favorites. Thankfully it was still in business.” 

Despite the fact that the distance from Central City to Coast City was the equivalent of a jog to the corner down the street for Barry, Iris still couldn’t help but be emotional about his efforts to make her happy. She folded her arms and, whilst nodding, said, “This is beautiful, Barry. You really didn’t have to – “ Barry opened his mouth to protest, but Iris was too quick for him. “ – but I’m glad you did.” 

She closed the distance between them and hugged him again, wrapping her arms around him in a bear hug tight enough that Barry’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Short of breath, he managed to cough out, “Let’s eat, huh?” 

Iris nodded into his chest and let go of him. He exhaled before pulling out a chair for Iris, who gazed at him with unparalleled love. 

They ate until there was no food left, and the orange juice pitcher had nearly been drained. They were both too full to move, so they sat at the table holding the hands of the other. Iris rubbed her thumb against Barry’s hand in circles in her usual, comforting way. She then brought up the inevitable question, even though it nearly made her queasy to say it. 

“When are you leaving?” 

Barry peeked up to see her inquiring stare. He had been thinking of an answer to this question for the better part of the night, and still had no good one. Barry opened his mouth, and realizing he had nothing to say in response, closed it again. Iris spoke again in his place. 

“What about tonight?” 

“Tonight?” Barry asked anxiously. That night was both too soon, and yet not soon enough. 

Iris shrugged. “Tonight’s as good as any other night. Why, are you having second thoughts?”

He manically shook his head. “No, no, I guess I’m just scared.” 

“Of what?”

_Of so many things_ , Barry thought. “I don’t know.” 

Iris patted his hand. “Well, do it soon, before your fear overcomes your desires and before I get too attached to you again.” She smiled, and Barry succumbed. 

“Your logic is flawless.”  
_______________________________  
They spent the whole day together, rarely taking a moment apart. Barry ran the pair of them to Star City to say a hello and goodbye to the old members of Team Arrow. From there, they went back to Central City for Barry to say painful goodbyes to his family, who at first refused to accept that he was leaving again but eventually understood due after Iris explained everything they’d discussed. They still weren’t pleased with the situation, but like Iris, they had grown up without him there, and knew they would make it through as a team. 

Barry and Iris did something on their bucket list that they would have probably never done had this particular situation not arisen. They went to their favorite ice cream shop downtown and ordered the world-famous $99 sundae, a dessert composed of twelve different flavors of ice cream on top of Nutella brownies, whipped cream, gourmet hot fudge, organic cherries, all served on a gold-plated bowl. Barry ate most of it. They then took a stroll through the city, eventually getting to the streets were Jitters used to be. A sandwich shop now took its place. 

The day dwindled down and Barry and Iris found themselves back on the waterfront, the very first place they ever kissed, where they got engaged, where Barry time traveled for the first time. They watched the sun set over the water, a beautiful pink circle reflecting in the turquoise waves. The sky faded to black, and while they couldn’t see the stars, the moon was full and undisturbed. 

They sat on a bench for a few hours, exchanging small talk whilst watching the nature and other couples walking through the park. Occasionally some people stopped to stare at them and whisper to one another, for Iris was quite well known in this city, but they all moved on eventually. The park cleared out around midnight.

Iris gave his hand a tight squeeze. “I think it’s time.”

Barry felt his heart start to race. “Are you positive you’re – ”

“Babe, you’ve got to stop doubting me. We’ll all be just fine here. You need to go and be happy.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “I can be happy here.”

But Iris knew that he was only saying these things for her sake. “You have to leave, Barry. If there is even the possibility of another timeline where we can be happy, I want it to exist.”  
There was not much else for Barry to say after this. He looked into Iris’s eyes and stroked her ever-beautiful hair. Iris pulled him close and kissed him one last time, their souls seeming to come together in a way they never had before. She pulled away first and patted him on the chest and breathlessly whispered, “I’ll always love you.”

“As will I.” 

They sat there for a few more minutes, both unwilling to make the first move. From her pocket, Iris pulled out a piece of small, folded piece of paper and tucked it into Barry’s own pocket. 

He started to reach for the paper but she stopped him. “Give it to me, you know, the other me, when you get back.” He slowly nodded, very curious as to what the note said and fully intending on reading it when he returned. “And because I know you’ll want to read it, just know that I wrote it in Arabic, so you won’t be able to, but other me will.” Barry laughed apprehensively. 

Iris got up and pulled him up with her. “Go. I love you.” 

Barry started to pull her close for another kiss but soon realized he would probably never leave. He could think of nothing else to do besides hold out his fist to meet with hers, just as they always did. Iris did her best to smile and meet his fist. 

Barry started to walk away, looking back to see Iris standing next to the bench, the tips of her fingers tucked in her mouth, no doubt being chewed nervously. She gave one last wave, and Barry turned around. He started to run. 

He hadn’t reached the optimal speed to time travel in decades, and he had no catastrophe currently motivating him to break the time barrier. He ran back and forth on the shore, gaining speed by the second, all the while keeping Iris in his mind, and keeping the day he first left her on his mind. He tried to force the regrets of leaving a second time out of his mind, for they would surely inhibit his ability to focus on getting back. 

Iris watched the red lightning zip this way and that for what seemed like hours but turned out to be less than a minute. Just ahead of her, she watched the lightning proceed on its path to the other side before it altogether disappeared in a brilliant blue vortex. 

Everything froze, only to be thawed in twenty-two years, after Barry’s new timeline finally caught up with the original timeline.  
_______________________________  
It was a most peculiar feeling to be running in one place and to suddenly be somewhere completely different the next. Barry didn’t see himself go through the portal but rather felt it. A cold feeling suddenly enveloped him, and he knew he had been successful. 

Barry opened his eyes and saw daytime rather than the darkness he’d left behind. He found himself on the shore, and Iris was nowhere to be found. Stumbling over to a garbage can, he found a newspaper bearing the date everything had gone wrong. A feeling of triumph surged through him, to be followed by overwhelming regret. Had he been right to leave Iris in that older timeline? What would happen to her, and his family? With difficulty, Barry forced these thoughts out of his mind and zoomed in the direction of home. 

Along his way, he noticed something very strange. He paused behind a tree to see someone dressed in all black all the way down the street, opening up what looked like a black hole in the middle of the sidewalk. He saw himself walking the other way, where two other people clad in the same outfit as the first metahuman somehow came through a portal. Barry’s past self saw this happen and, clearly confused, started running in the direction, writing the note on a scrap of paper and dropping it as he disappeared into the black hole. The three people met up in the middle and disappeared through another black hole, clearly pleased with what they’d done.

It was very confusing for Barry to watch this happen, but now that those people were gone and satisfied with what they’d done, he’d no longer be in any sort of danger. He took off again and didn’t stop until he got home.  
_______________________________  
Iris was sitting at her desk working at her computer, when she heard a familiar _whoosh_ sound throughout the house. Before she could turn around Barry was there, lifting her up from her spot and kissing her like he’d never done before. 

She pulled away from him and, giggling, asked, “What’s with the sudden surge of affection? I mean, you were just here a few minutes ago…”

Barry was looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on. He stroked her cheek and said, “And I won’t be leaving again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a Back to the Future approach to the time traveling rather than what usually happened in the TV show. Like I promised, a happy ending is in sight. One or two more fluff chapters to come.


	8. I'm 99 for a moment.../Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short but sweet ending that (I hope) wraps up this (interesting?) story. I wanted a simple ending to complete my longest fic I've ever written. Sorry for taking two months to finish this fic, real life caught up to me. 
> 
> As always, hope you enjoy ^_^

With every year forward birthdays passed, anniversaries came and went, babies were born and marriages were held. Every single one of those years, Barry never strayed too far away from Iris, forever in fear he might make a mistake that would derail their lives together once again, even if Iris never realized what had happened. 

Not too soon after Barry returned, he and Iris were cuddling on the couch, covered by their favorite polyester blanket with New Age music playing softly in the background. The children had already gone to sleep, and they were enjoying some much-appreciated alone time. Barry would have been drifting off to sleep had Iris not been fidgeting with a stray thread coming off the blanket. 

He spoke up. “Something’s on your mind.” 

In a quiet tone, Iris said, “Only because something’s been on yours.” 

She hadn’t been anticipating the reaction that followed. She felt Barry’s chest start to heave erratically and heard a soft whimpering coming from behind her. Iris sat up and turned around to see Barry place the bottom of his palms over his eyes, his head shaking as if he were trying to expunge a bad memory from his mind. 

“Oh Bear, what happened?” 

And so what happened came out of Barry’s mouth like word vomit, until it was all out in the open and Iris was staring at him openmouthed. She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she straddled his horizontal body, embracing him in her famous bear hug. Barry grabbed onto her bag like it was a lifeline. After a few moments, he started to regain his composure. Iris pulled away from him enough to see that he was taking deep breaths and rub his red eyes free of any tears. 

“I’m sorry for unloading that all on you, you don’t deserve someone who’s so…”

She playfully punched his arm. An offended look appeared on his face but before he could finish his sentence Iris interrupted in her usual manner. “Honest? Brave? Devoted? Loving? Because you are all of those things. Thank you for confiding in me, it only makes me trust you all the more.” 

Iris noticed his eyes were unfocused, staring at the ceiling above them. She grabbed her chin with her index finger and thumb, grabbing his attention again. “I mean every word.” Barry nodded, but he still seemed distracted. “Is there something you’re still keeping from me?” 

Sheepishly, Barry nodded. 

Iris raised her eyebrow and sighed. In a second Barry disappeared in a flash of light and was back on the couch, slouching next to Iris. He lazily held out a folded piece of paper. Iris took it gingerly, her eyes darting to the paper and back to her husband, who looked like he wanted to sink into the couch forever. 

She opened up the note and started reading. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped further open with every line until she got to the end of the letter. Her hands collapsed into her lap, and she slouched into the other end of couch. 

Completely fazed, Iris didn’t even notice silent tears of her own falling down her cheek. She also didn’t notice Barry starting to shift positions on the couch until she felt his lip caress her right cheek, kissing away the tears with a simple touch. She lay against the armrest on her side of the couch, and Barry proceeded to nuzzle up against her, just as she had done to him not ten minutes before. They fell asleep.   
_______________________________  
Around eight a.m. the following morning, Dawn woke up early. It was Saturday morning, and she wanted to watch her cartoons as usual. She peeked her head into her parents’ room and found their bed empty. Confused, she ran down the stairs two steps at a time to find them cuddled on the couch, completely unaware that she was downstairs. Dawn noticed their favorite blanket on the ground next to them, so she tiptoed over to it. She picked it up and spread it over her parents. They settled in, and for a moment Dawn was scared they were going to wake up and see her standing there, watching them. Fortunately, they stayed asleep, appearing to grab onto each other even tighter. 

Dawn gave them each a kiss before heading back upstairs. As she trotted up the stairs, she mumbled to herself, “Guess I’ll just watch in their room.”  
_______________________________

_Fifty-four years later_

Due to the nature of the speedforce, it looked as if neither Barry nor Iris had aged more than ten years in the past fifty-four years. Despite both being ninety-nine years old, they both could have easily passed for fifty-five. At this point, though, it had become public knowledge that Barry Allen was the Flash, so there was no reason to hide their peculiar appearances. 

They sat side by side on their rusty green bench on their porch, sipping chamomile tea in matching mugs. It was like old times, but it was new times, too. Each and every day they made new memories, with hopefully many more to come.

They were together, so nothing else mattered. Just like always, it seemed like it was only Barry and Iris in the entire world, in every world, in every timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my fic, and if you have any recommendations for any fic (particularly WA but anything Flash/Daredevil) just comment on any of my fics.


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